37 weeks: FULL TERM, YAY!

To start things off, I'd like to say how interesting I found it that following two posts ago...(the really long one)...I was shocked at the outpouring of support I got through email/comments/Facebok etc regarding something that I had kinda written about as an afterthought for the blog post. I always think it's cool to see what about a blog post sticks out to the readers. Apparently, the breastfeeding paragraph resonated with most. So Thank you to all who reached out.... and will definitely keep you posted as I'm sure I'll have opinions that need to be shared as my own journey begins...and ends. ;)

Now...on to this week. Very excited that I'm officially considered full-term. Dub would fare very well should he be born now. So that's a huge sigh of relief. (But when thinking of the to-do list that is sitting heavily on my shoulder, I'm hesitant to cheer his arrival on yet...)

Also..I should really write these blogs at 4 a.m. when I am writhing in discomfort and feeling very cynical and feisty. I think the honesty would actually come out and maybe be a bit more enlightening when the emotions are so raw. I tend to be more eloquent when I'm embroiled anyway. But instead, I write this as I'm lying on the couch...my back hurting (duh)...feeling very sleepy...but too mentally garbled to close my eyes. So I'll do a blog post and maybe feel a small sense of accomplishment for the personal aspect of my life.

So, I'm at my wit's end with comfort.
After 5 p.m., I get really cranky and at bedtime, I cry. Mostly because you go through your day thinking the hard stuff will come to an end when you go to bed and rest and relax, but really, I feel the worst then, so I break down and get really bitter that Neil is lying there next to me all comfy and curled up and able to do whatever he wants to do with his torso. But oddly enough, and I really do think Neil would agree, as much as I'm cranky, I tend to not be a raging bitch so much as a blubbering fool with tears....again. haha. Neil responds better to tears than snapping, so I think that's probably a good thing.  

Neil and a friend of mine's husband brought up the recliner we have in our basement to the ground floor in hopes that I can sleep there on the really rough nights.

Last night was one of those. I fell asleep no problem, but then woke up with my butt throbbing all over again. I think this will be the way it is for the next XXX days till the lil' guy arrives. And no, I'm not okay with that, but let's move on.

As I mentioned in the last blog post, I'm having a hard time truly savoring all the "lasts".... I'm one of those people who wants to know something is going to be the last time before I start experiencing that last time. Like...if it's the last chip in the bag, and I didn't know it...I get really upset that I ate it without knowing.

So I find myself doing that for everything....and mostly Neil has to listen to the dramatic reminders.

Neil, this could be the last time you and I watch a movie with just the two of us
Neil, this could be the last time we go to bed and are able to read together before we turn out the lights.
Neil, this is the last New YEar's where we won't need a baby sitter for the next 15 years! ;)

And so forth.

Like, my pal Audrey came down last week...she got in Wednesday and left Friday. We honest to goodness hardly did anything worth noting, other than the fact that doing nothing was what we wanted to do and therefore noteworthy. The entire time, I was thinking, this is really the last time it'll ever be just her and me hanging out for three days straight doing nothing without either of us caring about anything but that moment. It was bittersweet to hug her goodbye...this ball of sunshine whom I've been pals with since junior high. I was so thankful she took the time to come down and distract me. And for eating the majority of my cookies so I didn't have to take on that responsibility myself. ;)

Our fab maternity (and birth!!) photographer posted a blog of our maternity pics last week, too. That was exciting. It reminded me how darling Neil is...and his grey in his hair just adds to it. ;)
Go here if you've not seen them yet.

I am tempted to post photos here of our baby room thus far because it's 90 percent done, but since the bedding is on its way to us this week, I am going ot hold off and do it all at once next week. But I have to admit, it's very cute....and not super babyish, which was my whole goal. So hang tight for those.

My current largest source of stress is actually in the planning category. If you know me well, you know I have to plan everything out ahead of time. I will say, I've done surprisingly well with everything this pregnancy in terms of going with the flow as much as possible. But now that we have the finish line in sight, it seems my apprehension is increasing ... family and friends are already talking about when they can come visit. And of course, I'm just as eager...but also as clueless...as to what the answer is. I have eight "groups" of individuals that want to come stay with us and see Dub. I think 90 percent of them have to come on the weekends. That's TWO MONTHS of weekends wiped out to hosting people. Granted, I want them all to come. And I want to show off our wee one. But I've been told over and over by those who have birthed before me that they regret being so inundated with visitors in the beginning. Plus, Garmin's policy with dad's taking time off after their baby is born sucks. DO YOU HEAR ME, GARMIN??? You're not very family-friendly!!!

Neil has to use his PTO time... he can only use FMLA (unpaid leave) if he drains his PTO. And PTO time being so limited as it is, we can't completely take it all away as you never know what emergencies might come up etc. So he figures he can swing taking off 4 or 5 days. After that, his only time with the baby will be in the evenings and on weekends. But not if those weekends are all about sharing with loved ones, ya know?

So yes, it's a bit stressful trying to get all that worked out without knowing when he's coming...and without offending others. My family and Neil's family have first dibs of course. After that, I guess we'll play it by ear.

Last week, I actually did have an evening where I freaked out a bit that labor was imminent. It was the first night after Audrey got here... we had gone to dinner, but had to walk between places down at the Plaza because our first choice was wayyyyy tooooo busy (a 90 minute wait on a Wednesday? are you kidding me, Brio?) Then after dinner, we wanted to swing by the H&M as we'd not done so yet. Mid-browsing, I started getting lots of Braxton HIcks and also intense digestive pain...and flushed face...out of breath... nausea and a bit of dizziness. Looking back, I think it all came on because I "overdid" it, which makes me laugh...because I hardly had been out and about, but I guess being moving that late in the day after being on so much bedrest for months is a huge change??? Needless to say, I didn't go into labor. We had to leave though...but not before we scored a super cute and nerdy lil' vest for Dub to wear NEXT winter. (We can't buy clothes that are for younger than 9 months becuase we have way too many as is. haha)

Two photos from last Thursday (so several days behind, and I know for a fact I'm larger now (but too lazy to get up and take a new belly pic right now) because the sweater I wore that day doesn't fit anymore!!! And I gained 2 lbs, which brings me to a total of 22 lb gain. Woot.

But look! I was finally able to balance hot tea on the belly!!! I've officially arrived. ;) 

To end on a light note.... Friday, after breakfast with Audrey before she left, I was in a pretty good mood. I had cried when I hugged her goodbye, but because Audrey had pampered me with constant coo-ing over my belly for two and a half days...and telling me over and over how cute I look (which I don't fully agree with, but let's be honest, I love hearing it these days since I feel anything but) and even CRYING herself when she'd feel Dub juggling handkerchiefs inside of me... I was on a good pregnancy high. So I decided to go to Hy-Vee and see about getting crab legs for Neil's and my New Year dinner. What happened there inspired me to write a letter to the grocery store chain. I'll just copy and paste below the letter I sent.... hope you get a kick out of just how REAL pregnancy brain is.

Dear Hy-Vee,

I just wanted to share with you that the staff at the Hyvee in Leawood, KS on Stateline Rd was delightful today. I am 9 months pregnant and haven't been feeling very well lately. I went in to Hy-Vee to see how much crab legs would be for my husband's and my last New Year's Eve with just the two of us. The two guys behind the counter (one was a more fatherly figure and the other was a young lad) were extremely helpful and sweet and asked all about my pregnancy and showed they cared. They also twisted my arm and convinced me to splurge and get the crab legs on special. After I got the goods….another man who was stocking the freezer section was very helpful in finding me where the pierogies were kept...he too was chatty and very genuine when asking about the coming baby. He even proudly showed me photos of his new granddaughter. I was in a great mood by the time I checked out. Apparently, I was in such a good mood that I paid my $40 and left...without taking the bag of groceries. I realized it before I had gotten more than a block, so headed back to retrieve them. The cashier didn't know what happened to the bag either and admitted that the person who had been behind me must have gotten the bag instead. I felt a bit like crying (remember, I'm pregnant) but she soothed me by saying to go get the stuff I had purchased and show my receipt to customer service. But first, I had to go back (with my tail between my legs) and reveal my foolishness to the seafood guys. I felt so sheepish. But the man was so understanding and told me to not worry about it. After he wrapped up the second trio of crab legs for me that day, I went to get the other items on my list. By the time I got to the front, the seafood counter man was there, alongside other Hy-Vee staff members and the cashier. They waved me down and informed me that the bag of groceries was found in a cart in the parking lot. (This actually stumped me as I had not used a cart during my trip there...so apparently, the person behind me left the goods out there after realizing they weren't his/hers.) Regardless, it was quite a sight to be flagged down by 3 or 4 smiling Hy-Vee employees. They took back the goods I had just newly picked up and gave me my original bag of purchases. All of them were so sweet and didn't make me feel stupid (though I still did feel dumb...another pregnancy moment haha). The seafood man even offered (jokingly) to walk me to my car and make sure the crab legs got there safely. I had to laugh. I waved farewell to all of them (dare I say I almost was sad to go? Haha) and was very thankful everyone had been so nice to me. Now, granted, much of their understanding could maybe be attributed to my being pregnant (let's be honest...we treat the elderly and pregnant people with a bit more kindness than the young and not-ready-to-bust) but regardless, I left with a funny story to tell as well as positive feelings toward everyone there. (AND YUMMY CRAB LEGS!!) I hope my commendation gets passed along to the managers at that branch so they know that their staff’s kindness and good-humor was much appreciated--by me...as well as by my husband. Also, I know I’m pregnant and married, but please let Curtis Stone know that he is positively beautiful. Your marketing department was brilliant in making him “the” face (and sexy accent) of Hy-Vee. 

I should note, I sent this Friday night at 7:30 p.m. and would you believe that someone responded at 8:15 p.m. already? And they were super sweet...saying they are so glad I took the time to pass along good thoughts, they will share with the staff at the Hy-Vee, and then also said she had a baby in September so congratulated me ... and gave me the advice I've never gotten before (NOT!!)....to sleep now. (ha, like I don't know that... ;) ) But yeah, thought that was sweet. So props to Hy-Vee. And also ... the King Crab Legs were absolutely divine.

With that, Happy New Year!

(And yes, as I sign off, I do really think: Readers, this could be the LAST time I blog pre-birth! hahah)