To the Canadian blog stalkers who think they know it all...

It seems that the last post has ruffled the feathers of some know-it-all moms up in Canada. Someone has even posted the blog link to a forum and tried to chorale the troops to lambast me for....uh....being a good mom???

They've left anonymous comments (oh yeah, they are cowardly moms, too!) saying that by *only* feeding him 4 or 5 times a day is neglect, and that instead of "worrying" about him sleeping through the night, I should cherish the time with him and that feeding him that much at a time isn't good for him, and so on and so forth.

Let me start off with a few questions. Forum-dwellers like questions, right? Is it good to let your baby go hungry? Is it good to let your baby be fussy all day long because he didn't get enough to eat? No. It's not. And that is what he had been for about 10 days at the end of his first month. He wasn't getting enough of my breastmilk at a time due to low supply, and we were capping him at 3 oz of formula when we supplemented, because anything more SEEMED to be too much. 

We called the doctor. You know, those people who have actual degrees in this stuff? And she said to increase him to 4 oz and then in a few weeks, when he seemed hungrier again, to increase to 5 oz and so forth. 

I honestly had been worried that we could overfeed him. I thought he was just a little piggy who would never stop eating when he was full, like some adults tend to do. So we cut him off at those amounts. 

He had been sleeping, at that time, from 10 or 11 p.m. to 5 or 6 a.m. He never really needed a night feeding. (Mostly because while we were supplementing, we would do formula as his last feeding, which lasts way longer than breastmilk in their bodies. This is a sound decision, and I'm very thankful we did that, judge me all you want.)

At 8 weeks, he was starting to be fussy again, and started waking up at weird times in the night because he was hungry. Now, the Canadian naysayers might be on board with just allowing him to now change the routine we had established. Babies call the shots, right? To an extent. But at what sacrifice? The British Columbian Domestic Engineers probably encourage letting their babies just snack, rather than consume an actual meal, like humans should do. Those same diaper-bag divas also most likely are judging me for no longer breastfeeding him, and for putting him in daycare. If they hand me a BAD MOM sticker for those decisions, then I shall put it on their own backs when they turn around because I am sure I have a few of my own opinions on their decisions. 

There are a variety ways to sleep train. And while the most often textbook age to start the process is 3 months, any reputable source will also say that every baby is different and some are ready before others. Weston was ready because he was needing more food at a time. By NOT neglecting his needs, he would eat more and naturally lengthen the amount of time between feedings. And after researching the various sleep training methods (cry it out, no tears, etc...) we realized we didn't really need to practice one of those controversial approaches if we merely fed him a bit more. So based on the book I linked to in the last post (which is backed by lots of moms and lots of docs), we gradually increased his feedings... to 5.5 oz, then 6 oz each time, then 7 oz each time... during the day. Sometimes, he pushes the bottle away before then. We don't force it down his throat. He basically eats till he doesn't want to eat. (and we burp him lots!!) And the night one, before bed, he would eat until he pushed the bottle away...and that ranges from 7 to 9, a few times 10. 

We have hardly had to TRY to get him to sleep during the night. All we've done is establish a routine, and answers his hunger cries. He is no longer fussy during the day unless he's tired. He no longer screams with hunger at 2.5 hour marks. He is one of the happiest babies I know at this age. And same with his parents. ;)

Oh, and did I forget to mention, when I talked this over with my pediatrician, she gave me a HIGH FIVE for the success we're having? So wait, I'm saying that a doctor approves of this neglectful approach? How can that be if a bunch of meddling mothers in the country north of us are riled up about it and thinking their two cents are worth four? 

(By the way, I think the hot-headed mamas need to spend a bit more time with THEIR kids and stop pointing fingers at me because I can see the number of hits the blog is getting from their IP addresses, and let's just say...they are obsessed.... for hours at a time. How is THAT not neglecting their own lives?)

And to the maternal unit who said I need to cherish these times instead of...doing what I'm doing... that's the dumbest thing I've heard yet. I think I am cherishing them more than a few moms I know because I'm actually getting 6 hours of sleep a night. And I look forward to picking him up from daycare and don't get burned out and want to hand him off to the first human who walks through my door. I miss him terribly and wish we made enough money so I wouldn't have to work, but not everyone is as lucky as that. 

My baby is happy and well-fed and wonderful and amazing and well-documented with photos and warm and fuzzy and delicious to the eyes and nose. He is pooping healthily. He is gaining weight and at a good rate. He is physically developing a bit more each day. And he is a baby who has a mom and dad who love him enough to research before they make a decision, and to know that all parenting styles differ, but the one we choose is the right one for us. 

So back off, you chicks from British Columbia. Tell the sniveling mommies in your forum to spend less time bitching about other hardworking, amazing moms they don't even know and maybe spend a bit more time doing something crafty they learn on Pinterest in all this spare time they seem to have.  After all, creating homemade playdough or scrabble-tile coasters is far more attractive to your own children than being a judgmental self-righteous intruder to another's. 

2.5 month update

Just when I thought I couldn't fall more in love with my own creation, I am proven wrong. Every day, something new Weston does makes my chest feel as if it's being wrapped in a warm and fuzzy blanket. The highlight of my days is now going to pick him up from daycare. No wait, it's hanging out with him the morning. Or maybe it's cuddling him as he gets sleepy at night.

I love sharing him with others, especially those I know are as smitten with him as I am. Like my family, especially my mom. I am proud to look at him and see the happiness he brings others and know that it is because of Neil and me that he is here. I feel very lucky to have not only scored such an amazing husband...and cat...but now a son.

And it's funny how the trivial things Weston does make everything else seem trivial. I don't care that I miss my favorite TV shows because I'm holding him and he might laugh when I sing a made-up song. I don't care that I have to get out of bed way earlier than ever because on the other end of that exhausted walk down the hallway is a cooing and smiling bundle of amazingness. I don't care that I have to wait until the next day to cross one more unimportant thing off my to-do list because right now, Weston is more important than pretty much anything. As my mom says, nothing is too good for your own children. :)

So what I tend to share here might not be very exciting stuff for anyone other than those who are so closely tied to him. Or maybe it's just exciting for me. ;) But I am a woman of record, so definitely thinking that recording all of this will someday make me glad. 

I am glad to report that Weston's skin has cleared up. We had kinda been worried he was going to explode with baby acne, but the breakouts never seemed to reach the magnitude we were fearing. He would get a few patches of roughness, dry skin or pimples and then they'd be gone the next time I looked at him and so on.


IF YOU ARE READING THIS BECAUSE SOME RILED-UP MOMMY IN BRITISH COLUMBIA SENT YOU HERE TO CHASTISE ME FOR MY DECISIONS, BE SURE TO ALSO READ THE POST I WROTE FOR YOU AND ALL YOUR SELF-RIGHTEOUS FRIENDS: HERE.
We have begun SLEEP TRAINING. Every mom of every Tom, Dick and Harry out there has her own take on what the right tactic is in getting a baby to sleep through the night. The controversial theories are a plenty. I am an advocate of moderation in many realms of the good life....and I'm not exactly sure where our own method falls on the spectrum, but this is what we're doing.

The end goal...someday...is to get lil' Westie-roo to sleep from 8 p.m. to 6 a.m. This would allow for us to have a good amount of quality time with him the evening, but give Neil and I some time with one another or ourselves before we hit the hay. So far, we have him to sleep by 9, sometimes 9:30, and he's staying asleep until at least 430, sometimes 530...and sometimes 6 or 6:15 (which is AWESOME!). 

We are following the concept in the book 12 hours of sleep by 12 weeks (which was recommended to us by my friend Leigh, as she swears it worked for her TWINS!). We had previously been feeding him 4.5 oz every 3/3.5 hours...other than when he slept from 11-5 or 6. So he was getting about 6-7 feedings a day, for a total of 26-31 oz in a 24 hour period. The 12x12 plan (though to be honest, we are wanting him to sleep 10 a night, not 12, because we love our child and want to spend SOME time with him...a 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. sleep schedule would be sad for us!) essentially gets you to divide the day time into 4 periods. The goal is to have only 4 feedings and omit the night feeding(s) altogether. 

So we have about 14 hours of "day time" ... divided by 3 (for the # of feedings before his LAST feeding) is about 4.5 hours. So we are trying to feed him every 4-4.5 hours. The TOTAL oz in one day is now just divided into 4. (And since he's formula-fed, the formula for feeding is 2.5 x his body weight is approx what he should be getting in a 24-hour period.) As of his 2-month check up a bit more than a week ago, he was 12 lbs even. Which is 30 oz. So 30 oz divided into 4 feedings is 7.5. BUT, we want to load him up with the most for the last feeding so he can go longer. So we put 7 oz of formula in his bottles at his 6:15 a.m., 11 a.m. & 3:30 p.m. feedings. And then we feed him 9-10 oz before we lay him down. (The real concept is to feed him as much as he wants to eat at each feeding....we kinda do that, but limit him a bit so it's not a hassle for daycare to store the extra that was left over from feedings if too much is put into the bottle.) The key though is we HAVE to get him to burp before we lie him down. Otherwise, he'll spit up or be super fussy. 

Now, of course, the day I write this, he has downed 8 oz for his 3 day feedings and then 10 oz at 8 p.m. today. But I'm guessing he's more than 12 lbs now, so we'll probably be feeding him a bit more as the weeks go. (Last night, he slept from 8:30 till 6:15!!!) 

Not every night is as successful, but we've established an ideal....we've established a routine...and it seems to be working way better than the sleep patterns for many other babies we know. So we shall continue full speed ahead until we hit a wall. (But I've read in several places now that sleep patterns achieved now are most likely the same patterns we can expect for him through his childhood...)

We are about to begin our 3rd week of DAYCARE. The first week was a bit rough, though the first day was not. I didn't shed a tear. I think mostly because Neil was with me, and also, I knew that we were easing into it, so the following day, he would be home with me. I highly recommend this for working mothers... weaning yourself off of being there with your baby is a great way to head into such a significant change. Though the other days without him that week, I did find myself hearing him when he wasn't there. Or I'd get up to go check on him and realize I'd have to go a bit too far to peek in on him a few miles away. I cried talking to a friend about it, but once it was out of my system, I was able to shake it off. And most of my angst has retreated. Neil and I decided that it would be best for Weston and for me if I attempt to keep him home with me on Mondays. I tend to not take any days off during wedding season. Last year, Neil MADE me take off Sundays. But now, with a baby, I need more than one day away from the business, so Monday is my day. Granted, some Saturdays, I'll have "off" when I don't have a wedding scheduled, but since I have an average of 2 shoots a week during the evenings when I'd otherwise spend that time with Westie, that Monday with him will ensure that I can make up for lost time. I've never in my life enjoyed Mondays until now. :) And that enjoyment will only surge once THE BACHELORETTE starts in May. hahaha

Alrighty, here is the part that I write for all to read, but it is intended to be a record for Neil and me...and Weston. So it's written to my sweet boy. ;)

MORNINGS w/ MOMMY

You are my charge every morning. I am not a morning person. I hate waking up before 8. But for you, I will and I do. And even when my eyes are still feeling heavy and dry from sleep, I love undoing your swaddle as your little mouth wimpers for food or breaks into a grin at the sight of me. It's like unwrapping a gift, and once the gift is in full view, your strong little arms shoot up and you turn your head to the side, your face scrunched up, your lips protruding like a duck's beak, and neck thrown back, so you can finally adequately stretch in that way that I just want to eat up. You look so mature, so happy, so uninhibited. After you've guzzled down your breakfast, you are all smiles. This is my favorite part of my life right now. I lay you on the changing table most days, and we have our morning chat. 

 

CHATTER & PHYSICAL STUFF

You are saying a lot more nowadays than you just did two weeks ago. I have learned that you LOVE the sound of trilling tongues, and the phrase "R-rrrrrrrruffles have rrrrrridges" makes you go crazy with grins. I am so glad I got a video of one of your episodes. (Though I now wish I could capture your own addition to the show...you can now roll YOUR tongue, and you do it back and forth with me.) And I think you're going to be a ventriloquist, at least on the side, because you've mastered making the same sound with your mouth closed as you do when it is open. 

You also are a big flirt. Pretty girls easily make you smile. Pretty girls, and your mama. :) And when we blow kisses at you, you try your hardest to do it back, but the best that you've got right now is jutting your tongue out between your lips just enough to make your lips look bigger. But true pursing of said lips is a skill you have yet to acquire.

Your neck strength is progressing despite the fact that tummy time is usually short-lived due to your short temper. You can easily go from 0 to 60 with that. But for the moments when you're not too upset, you will wow your daddy and me by making the feat of pushing up look somewhat easy. Here is a video of one of the earlier attempts to do this two weeks ago (two months).

You dad and I are bound determined to get you to wave before all the books say you will. So several times a day, we hold our hand in front of your face and open and close our fingers, saying "hello, buy-bye." You fixate on the gesture, and your jerky movements with your hands and arms calm down a bit as you try to hone in on just one of your hands. We swear we can see you start your own version. OFtentimes, babies will wave with their fingers pointed back at their own faces. But not you, Westie-roo. You seem to be holding your hand with the fingers pointed down, palm in, when you every so slowly and clumsily open and close the fingers. We'll take it. For now. ;)

I love watching your legs and arms move haphazardly about. There seems to be a method to how you do it these days; a tiny bit more organized as if you're conducting an orchestra, or traffic, perhaps....not quite as graceful as a flight attendant, but not as unwieldy as they once were. You're not quite able to fluidly reach out and grab something we hold in front of you, though you definitely know that is what you're supposed to do. You will sometimes make contact, and then depending what it is, cling to it. My favorite is when you cling to the ear on your elephant wubanubb or the foot on your duck one, or the tail on your monkey. It just looks so darn helpless and cute. Like this:

MOODS 

For the most part, you're an agreeable baby. You mostly just get cranky when you are fine and dandy but then we move you. Or when you're hungry. Or needing a change. Or tired. So yeah, like a typical baby. But sometime I recently learned during one of your super-fussy spastic flipouts (you were super tired, but not okay with ANY position I put you in), it seems as if putting something soft on your head or rubbing something fuzzy on your temples soothes you. Sometimes, it's like magic. WAHHHH-WAHHH...blanket/fuzzy bunny is placed, and then SILENCE. Of course we don't want to risk you smothering yourself, so I am always right next to you until the soft object is removed. And right next to me...is usually my phone. So excuse me for having to document the snuggliness that you look after you spaz out. 

When you get really sleepy while you're being held, you burrow into the chest, armpit or elbow pit until you find a place that couches your face just so. I try to communicate with you during this time, but there is no snapping you out of your wormy stupor. You are a baby on a mission, and your mission is to be comfortable, all else be damned.

It isn't hard to get you to smile if you're wide awake. My favorite series of smiles ends in you pulling your little fists together in almost a victory clasp and bringing them to your chin, then you turn your face to the side and look back at me with your playful eyes. I about gag on the resulting mouthful of cuteness and motherly pride that results.

OTHER NOTEWORTHY THINGS

Let's see... since I last posted, you've found your hands, and your feet.

You LOVE baths, and we love giving them to you. How could we not when we get this sort of naked darlingness to look at?

You've squealed, and were able to prove your strength by holding an elephant on your head.

You had your first visit from your daddy's family when Uncle Steve and Grandpa Dino came to play with you.

You had your first peaceful run in with the cat.

You made me cry when I realized I wouldn't be able to hold you like this for long.

You showed us a glimpse of the lil' man you will someday become. Probably all too soon. :) 

You handled your first vaccinations like a champ. You cried, but don't worry, so did I. And on a not so fun note, you've gotten your first cold.

This has been hard for your dad and me. You don't seem to feel too awful, but you have so much congestion, you have to cough really hard and you sneeze a lot. And in the morning, your coughing fits come after I feed you, which ends up in a projectile shower of formula and mucus....on you. And also on me. Two mornings in a row this has happened...and 2 other times the week before. The doctor gave us tips to deal with it, but they're not working. We give you pedialyte before and after feeding so the sodium will help break down the mucus in your throat. We have a humidifier going. We use saline drops and a nasal aspirator. You sleep at an angle again in the ROCK n PLAY.  But so far, it seems to only get worse. :(  And now you have an ear infection, so you're on antibiotics for that. Thankfully, right after you vomit, you erupt in smiles, despite the fact that you are soaked and smell of regurgitated Similac. Such a charmer you are.

Your first family holiday was Easter, which we celebrated with the G family in Omaha--which was your first trip out of town. That went well. You got passed around to everyone several times, and you didn't disappoint in wooing them with your grins and innocence. Your cousin Cailin sure had a good time mothering you. She and you even got to cuddle with grandma and pa G in their bed on Sunday morning. You wore your first girlie accessory thanks to Cailin. And you have a photo of it thanks to Aunt Temple. ;)

I do feel sad when I drop you off at daycare. I am remotely jealous of those who are able to keep their kids home with them and not financially suffer....and still get work done.  ;) But I know that the time we do spend with you is high quality, and that is what matters. You are nearly 3 months old, Weston. And I am so glad to know that you're with us until we kick you out. ;) You make us smile and eager for the little things. You've become what matters most.


And to close... here is your progress in pics. ;)