28 weeks...errr....27 and a half...

Gosh, it's been awhile. I've been busy, yes. But I've also been a Darbi Downer so have been trying to abstain from blogging nothing but complaints. I feel guilty for not enjoying this experience fully since so many people out there have trouble conceiving or have worse pregnancies than mine.

But when something hurts, it hurts, right? And my back is that something. BIG TIME. (I had been feeling so good for about 3 weeks!!! And then BAM!)

Beginning last week, two days after the last wedding I booked for this year... the familiar pain of arthritis in my middle back started at 10 a.m. and ever since, has set up shop in my thoracic  vertebrae. It lies low for a few hours in the morning after I first get up, but then it becomes the unruly tenant who gripes and moans and plays music way too loudly and has dogs that crap on your lawn. The kind of tenant who the landlord wants to kick out but doesn't have the means to due to contractual obligations.

I have to lie down (not flat on my back, mind you, thanks to the pregnancy, but at least at an angle) before the pain will subside.

The resting buys me 1, 2, 3, sometimes 4 hours of pain-free time.

I'm sick of complaining about it. But it has totally revamped the way I've been living my life the past two weeks. My productivity hasn't been what it should be this time of year when I'm closing out the busy season. Stop-and-go has never been my modus operandi. Though, it is making me slow down a bit and just RELAX. Which I'm sure is something I should enjoy since that ability is short-lived. ha...but you can't enjoy something when you're forced to do it against your will.

Just so you can see the mess that my back is in as of 2002 (and I honestly fear a new x-ray as I'm sure the curve has worsened over time...)... here is a photo of my last xray. The pain is coming right above the fusion (this fusion was made to correct the bottom curvature of my spine in 1994--when I was 12).


So yes, I've always had back problems, but the everyday pain is new to me. My recently acquired chiropractor tells me this flare up is probably due to the relaxin hormone that is released in the 3rd trimester to loosen up joints and prepare the pelvic region for allowing the large-ticket item to pass through the birth canal. Unfortunately, relaxin doesn't discriminate and the loosening of joints and what have you isn't limited to the areas that need the relaxing. (This is why so many pregnant women have pain in their lower backs, etc...) But my pain is a different one. And there is nothing I can do for it because the Tylenol Codeine doesn't even touch it with a 10 foot pole. I could maybe get a stronger painkiller...but even if it's deemed safe for pregnancy, frequent use will make the baby addicted easily...and it could knock me out and warrant me useless anyway.

So weekly chiropractor visits are now a part of my life...and I'm trying out the very expensive and not-guaranteed efforts of acupuncture in two weeks. Other than that, I have a suspicion that the last 3 months will do me in. And I just pray it doesn't get worse or I'll be on bedrest all day long just to avoid crying. Because after awhile, it gets so bad I can't NOT cry. What does arthritis feel like, you might wonder? Like a deep-rooted toothache...but in this case, one in my back.

I know, another sob story. I'm sorry. But this is part of my journey. And I'm blogging about my journey. 

OH, and let's talk about hormones for a second. And the joys of the mood swings. *Poor Neil.

A couple of weeks ago when I opened the invitation to my first baby shower, I  laughed cuz it was so cute...but then I started bawling because it hit me that it was for MY BABY...the one that is currently IN ME. I called my friend Cara, who made the invitation, and I feel bad because I unleashed a delirious outburst of laughing and sobbing, trying to explain to her how I feel. I don't think I succeeded because she's not pregnant and because Neil came home and did something stupid, so I suddenly unleashed fury and crying on HIM. I promptly hung up the phone so I could focus on the anger. haha (Sorry, Cara.)

I also shed too many unnecessary tears when my massage clinic said they couldn't get me in on my birthday next Tuesday (Nov. 1). I hung up and felt so upset and discouraged about life in general. I need one so badly and was looking forward to treating myself to bliss on my 30th...and when they said no, I was more than crushed (I can't go anywhere else because I'm enrolled in their monthly program to save money since I need them so frequently...)

But crying is only half of it. I've had two outbursts of laughing in the past month that have left me sore, winded and dumbfounded that a human being can laugh that hard.

The first was because my husband (if you know him, this won't surprise you)... was in charge of making the online invitation for a small birthday party for me. I was teaching him how to use Evite and I told him, "you have to start with a title for the event." Without pause, he typed "Fatty Is Old" as the title of the birthday party.

I lost it.

I convulsed with shaking giggles...my eyes were sealed tight....but tears came out...as I gasped for air and thought I'd surely go into labor right there from the force of laughter coming forth. Neil was not amused after the first 3 minutes. I couldn't function though and only found his reaction even funnier. I'm just thankful that my emotions went to that end of the spectrum...toward finding such an offensive title humorous or I might be a widow right now. haha

Then last Friday on the way to Omaha, I had another moment...er....5 minutes of moments. I was driving...we stopped at CVS and then the gas station to fill up on the way out of town. Not more than 1 minute after we pulled out from the gas station, we were getting on the interstate and I slapped the steering wheel. "DAMMIT! We forgot to get gas!!"

Neil's head snapped around and his eyebrows were raised in disbelief. And then it hit me. We. Had. Just. Gotten. Gas.

Needless to say, I lost it again. Please reread the paragraph that is 3 above this one... because it all happened just like it did before. Only this time, I was driving. So despite me going out of my way to microwave my deli meat or to not clean out the litter box, I was putting my life, the baby's life...and Neil's life...at risk by not being able to keep my eyes open while I was driving and laughing. Oh yes, Danger is my middle name.

Other silly things...
if you can stand to look at my bare, mole-ly belly, here is a video from last night of lil Dub moving and grooving inside. I can't get over how weird it is to have something so independent going on inside of me. Like a party I wasn't invited to but have to host. (And disregard Neil's fake-sounding laughs in the background. He was watching that show WHITNEY on NBC...not laughing at the belly dance.)
HEre is the link:
http://youtu.be/T9Xj1rviL68

and lastly...I'll close with a photo...but there is also a funny story to this. I'm actually 27 weeks when this was taken. But one of my iphone aps calculates weeks based on the # of week I'm IN... and I'm IN my 28th week this week. So when I labeled the photo, I looked at that ap to be sure I was right...and thought it was odd that I'd not taken a photo in a month. So unlike me. But when I realized what I'd done, I didn't want to redo it and hoped no one would notice. But one of my stalkers, Lara, totally did notice and called me out on it. Thanks, jerk. ;)

What's next???
SOOOO looking forward to tomorrow... we have decided to do the 3D ultrasound (10 a.m.!!)...mostly because I need these little milestones to get me through the valleys. I am sure he'll be on the creepy-looking side since I've not gained a whole lot of weight, I'd imagine he's not exactly plump for the picking yet. Unless HE is stealing EVERYTHING I eat and taking on the fat. Which is totally fine with me.

Next weekend the baby room will be painted...so expect pics of that soon.

And two showers are around the corner...so that's exciting too.

I'm having maternity photos taken in late November. hoping it's remotely nice out still. 

Ok, must end now because I wrote this lying down as my back was throbbing...and now my wrists are feeling the odd angle of typing settle in. xoxo to you all for just reading this...and caring. :)